Love and Companionship

Love and companionship are the biggest reasons that people cohabit and marry. The notion that marriage is the result of romantic love has sustained through the centuries.

Why do people get married? The answer seems almost too simple to answer. While the precise reasons for marriage differ by individual, most people agree that marriage is the result of romantic love. It is a consistent and well-understood belief that love and companionship are the two main reasons that people cohabit or get married. Other reasons, such as wanting to have children someday, convenience or finances rank significantly lower than those two (Horowitz et al. 6; Inglis and Greenglass 1037). It is notable here that historically, marriage is not only seen as a romantic culmination between two individuals, but it is also an important social institution for economic stability as well. Early U.S. marriages were largely based on Northwestern European traditions (Thornton et al. 27). The family is the most significant social unit of human existence, thus childbearing and property distribution were important outcomes of marriage. 

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Marriages between royals and families of high social status were often arranged for political and economic unions that would be beneficial for both parties involved. As for the common people, love may be a stronger factor for marriage than even economic prospects and religious affiliations (Thornton et al. 28). This view of marriage being the pinnacle of romantic love between two individuals carries into modern-day America. And with the passage of interracial and gay marriages, society has given people more social liberty to marry regardless of race and sexual orientation. While homosexual cohabitants still face marriage challenges today in various court cases, progress has been made by allowing common law marriages and granting cohabitants legal rights and financial justice (Alvare). 

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Regardless of gender, marriage is one of the most important decisions of one’s life and obtained after careful thought and a long process.  Traditionally, engagement and wedding ceremonies are seen as two important steps towards marriage, though many couples today forego these procedures or opt for cohabitation instead (Thornton et al. 78). Marriage is an act of mutual consent between two individuals and a voluntary act of economic interdependence and social commitment. Couples who make this formal commitment are rewarded with various economical and legal benefits exclusive to marriage.

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Image courtesy cartooncollections.com. Mick Steven, The New Yorker Collection 2013. 

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But marriage rates have undergone a significant decline in recent years. The notion of “marriage as work”, especially for women, likely contributed to this decline (Celello 2). Starting in the 1920s, Americans began to develop a desire for stronger, more satisfying marital relationships as well as heightened anxiety about divorce (Celello 3). This, along with more women entering the workforce after WWII, made marriage seem like extra emotional and physical commitment. Women are also expected to provide more contributions to their marital relationships and family through housework and child-rearing. Yet evidently, a more balanced division of labor in the family will generate higher individual satisfaction in marital relationships. This rings true for cohabitation couples as well (Horowitz et al. 45). This reflects the social notion of gender equality in terms of domestic and workload distribution.

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In terms of relationship satisfaction, comparisons between cohabitation and marriage elicit conflicting results. A recent large scale survey done by the Pew Research Center suggests that married couples are more satisfied with their relationships, more trusting of their partners compared to cohabiting couples (Horowitz et al. 4). Yet, as seen previously, the more involved and dedicated cohabiting couples could pass as common law marriages and live a very similar life as married couples. Cohabiting couples share many of the same prerequisites as married couples, such as complete commitment to their relationship and financial stability (Horowitz et al. 37). Many cohabiting couples have plans for future marriages while longterm cohabitants are more content with their current relationships. 

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In many ways, cohabitation is becoming more and more similar to marriage and blur the line with relationship definitions. The varying degrees of commitment and living arrangements between cohabiting couples make it difficult to generalize and provide a clear definition of cohabitation. But at the end of the day, the love and companionship they provide for each is undeniable.

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Works Cited

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Alvare, Helen. “U.S. Cohabitation Law: Still Separate and Unequal.” Institute for

Family Studies, Institute for Family Studies, 25 June 2019, ifstudies.org/blog/us-cohabitation-law-still-separate-and-unequal.

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Celello, Kristin. Making Marriage Work : A History of Marriage and Divorce in the 

Twentieth-Century United States, University of North Carolina Press, 2009. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unlv/detail.action?docID=454807.

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Horowitz, Juliana, et al. “Marriage and Cohabitation in the U.S.” Pew Research 

Center's Social & Demographic Trends Project, Pew Research Center, 9 Nov. 2019, www.pewsocialtrends.org/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/.

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Inglis, A, and E. R Greenglass. “Motivation for Marriage among Women and Men.” 

Psychological Reports, vol. 65, no. 3, 1989, pp. 1035–1042.

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Thornton, et al. Marriage and Cohabitation. University of Chicago Press, 2007.